Lydia4072
Answered

What should I change in this poem?

It's called Missing Identity


When I see my true loves face

I always think I'm hallucinating

I smiled and I waved but he doesn't even look my way

I said Hi.

But he acted like I wasn't even there!

When I went home in despair


I looked at my self in the mirror.

I saw half of my face

But the other half was blurry and then disappeared

I looked away

I couldn't bear the fact

I looked in the mirror

But I still saw only half of my face

I don't know who I am

I don't know who I am

Do you I have an Identity

What do I have to live for?


Who am I

Who am I to even look at such a beautiful face like his?

Who am I to even talk to him?

I have to find my missing identity.

I need to find who I am.

I me to find out why I'm living

I need to find my fate


What is my identity?

Can you help me find it?

I need to get the other half of my soul.

What is my identity?

What is my fate?

Who will be my destined love

That will love me forever.

Verified Answer :

sdmatera

I think it's great. I didn't see anything that needs to be changed. I like the last stanza, it reminds me of Twenty One Pilots.

amelia18

The poem is beautiful, there are some things that you need to fix like the first verse . You could say "I smile , I wave still knowing that he will not recognize that I'm there" , I love the last verse it's beautiful and captivating. The title is perfect it reflects what's happening. The poem shows someone who is in love and maybe because of that she/he lost her true identity and I really like that. In my opinion the poem is beautiful!.

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